When we are in our mother's womb, our first sense that develops is our sense of hearing. We hear our mother's and father's voices long before we are born and see the light of the world. When we are nearing the end of our life, our sense of hearing is the last to go. Rina's nurse Lucy said there are scientific studies that show this. My sister can hear every word we say. I am positive of this.
Today I'm going to make sure that every family member and close friend that wants to have a few minutes to talk to Rina alone, can do so.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Every day is a gift...
Rina made it through another night. Her blood pressure is dropping and her heart rate is still high. She has not woken up since Wednesday mid-day. We all take turns talking to her and my aunts & uncles read verses from the Quran. I am a little envious of the feelings of comfort that faith seems to bring to everyone. I'm having trouble finding comfort from faith right now.
Yesterday they did not end up giving the blood transfusion because it would cause Rina more discomfort processing the transfusion. My mom is now questioning so many things (if only they had done this or that....). As a daughter, it frustrates me to hear her second-guessing everything. As a mother I know exactly why she's doing it.
If you get a chance, read the "comment" that David posted to yesterday's blog update. He wrote a note to his mom that is so sweet and heart-breaking. I read it to my sister this morning. I hope she heard her son's words of love.
Yesterday they did not end up giving the blood transfusion because it would cause Rina more discomfort processing the transfusion. My mom is now questioning so many things (if only they had done this or that....). As a daughter, it frustrates me to hear her second-guessing everything. As a mother I know exactly why she's doing it.
If you get a chance, read the "comment" that David posted to yesterday's blog update. He wrote a note to his mom that is so sweet and heart-breaking. I read it to my sister this morning. I hope she heard her son's words of love.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
I want to mention one more thing. Last night our little sister Nadia called from California. I put the phone to Rina's ears and Nadia talked to her. I could swear that she heard and understood everything. Nadia was just here for a visit and left only 9 days ago. She's in the last trimester of her pregnancy and in California with her husband. I know Nadia's heart is in Michigan right now. And our hearts are intertwined with hers across the miles. We're so glad she got to spend a week with Rina recently and all of us sisters got to be together.
I also want everyone to know that my Dad and I are sitting here with Rina. I just read all of the comments submitted by all of you on the blog. I know that she heard me.
I also want everyone to know that my Dad and I are sitting here with Rina. I just read all of the comments submitted by all of you on the blog. I know that she heard me.
Transitioning to Comfort Care
This morning Rina's white blood count is severely low. She'll get a blood transfusion later today. She's not awake but drifts in and out of a drug-induced sleep. Her condition is worsening. Beginning later today, the goal of her care will be strictly to keep her comfortable. They will not take any more blood tests and her medications will be limited to pain medication and antibiotic (Vancomycin). They've moved her into a suite to accomodate our large family/visitors. David and I stayed overnight with her last night at the hospital and we finally got mom to go home and rest. Yesterday, David & his dad spent some time alone with Rina talking to her and being a family. Yesterday David sat with Rina alone as she slept and talked to her and played a song (Phil Collins "You'll be in my heart"). My mom & I saw them through the window in the door and broke down in tears. He's being a brave boy right now.
Our Sister
Rina is not doing well. She's not able to talk other than a few words when she is awake. The strong pain medications are keeping her very sleepy. We hold her hand, rub her feet, pat her head. Comfort her in any way we can.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
March 27, 2012
My family was told late this afternoon that my beloved sister Rina is in critical condition - she has anywhere from hours to perhaps days to perhaps weeks to live. My heart aches for our David most of all. May the angels unseen among us comfort my sister and my nephew and my parents and my sons and our entire family. May God hear our cries and our prayers and deliver a miracle.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Bacterial Infection - C. Diff
Ferdousi will be in the hospital for a few days at least. Further tests show that she has a bacterial infection called C. Difficile (see http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/c-difficile/DS00736). It causes some very uncomfortable and painful symptoms. Today when the nurses asked her to rate her pain on a scale of 1 to 10, she didn't hesitate - it was a 10 she said. This is the same bacterial infection that Ferdousi had in January/February and was hospitalized for in Minnesota. She's receiving antibiotics and by the mercy of God will get better in a few days. I feel so completely helpless being so far away - not being able to help my sister or my parents. Please keep my sister in your prayers.
Selina
Selina
In the hospital
Tonight Mom & Dad took my sister to the ER. She's been admitted to the hospital. X-rays show that Ferdousi has pneumonia. They are doing additional blood tests. We'll know those results tomorrow. Please pray for my sister.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Update on Ferdousi (by Selina)
Hi Everyone,
Last week we spent the week in Michigan with Ferdousi and my parents. I'd like to give you an update on her condition. When we got there the first day, I was so disappointed to see how weak and fragile she looked. I was hoping to see my sister looking stronger than when she left Minnesota. She had been feeling better the first two weeks in Michigan. However, since the start of her chemo treatments in early March, she’s been dealing with all of the horrible side effects again. The chemo treatments have changed in substance and frequency. The combination of drugs is primarily made up of Erbitux & Irinotecan. The frequency has changed from every two weeks (46-hours each) in Minnesota to every week (2-3 hours each) in Michigan.
I was able to take Ferdousi to a chemo treatment, a cancer support group meeting and a doctor’s appointment in the week that we were there. The nurses at the Infusion Center were very nice and the Oncology Fellow seemed very smart & competent and genuinely caring. The cancer support group meeting was really an eye-opener for me. What an amazing group of women – even with their tragic stories they all exuded hope and strength and so much affection and support for Ferdousi.
My sister is still 76 pounds but at least we are thankful that she’s not losing any more weight. She’s eating regularly even though it is in very small amounts. My mom and aunts are always cooking her favorite foods but it’s sad for everyone when she can only eat a little bit of it. Ferdousi has not had a CT scan for some time now. Next week on March 28th she will receive CT scans of her chest, abdomen & pelvic areas. On March 30th, my parents and sister will find out the results of those scans. We’re all praying the new chemo regimen is helping to fight this extremely aggressive disease. Ferdousi or I will provide an update to let you know the results next week. Please keep the prayers, messages, and good wishes coming.
On a happy note, we were all so glad that for one evening last week Ferdousi was feeling good and staying up to visit with family & friends. It was the evening of Nadia’s baby shower (our little sister) and we weren’t sure how Ferdousi would feel that day. She happened to be feeling well that evening (and also perhaps hiding her pain well). She was up for hours talking and visiting with family and friends. My parents were so happy to see this – their whole outlook each day is dependent on how Ferdousi is doing. Another fun thing we did was to arrange for a Henna Artist to come to the house and put henna on Ferdousi’s hands. It turned out just beautiful and Ferdousi was very happy about that.
Lastly, before we left Michigan I gave my sister a goal. She is to try to get herself as strong as possible so that we can do a cancer walk together on Memorial Day weekend. It would be such a great achievement for her and make us all so happy. That’s all for now. I hope that next time I post an update it will be positive news.
Good night,
~ Selina
Last week we spent the week in Michigan with Ferdousi and my parents. I'd like to give you an update on her condition. When we got there the first day, I was so disappointed to see how weak and fragile she looked. I was hoping to see my sister looking stronger than when she left Minnesota. She had been feeling better the first two weeks in Michigan. However, since the start of her chemo treatments in early March, she’s been dealing with all of the horrible side effects again. The chemo treatments have changed in substance and frequency. The combination of drugs is primarily made up of Erbitux & Irinotecan. The frequency has changed from every two weeks (46-hours each) in Minnesota to every week (2-3 hours each) in Michigan.
I was able to take Ferdousi to a chemo treatment, a cancer support group meeting and a doctor’s appointment in the week that we were there. The nurses at the Infusion Center were very nice and the Oncology Fellow seemed very smart & competent and genuinely caring. The cancer support group meeting was really an eye-opener for me. What an amazing group of women – even with their tragic stories they all exuded hope and strength and so much affection and support for Ferdousi.
My sister is still 76 pounds but at least we are thankful that she’s not losing any more weight. She’s eating regularly even though it is in very small amounts. My mom and aunts are always cooking her favorite foods but it’s sad for everyone when she can only eat a little bit of it. Ferdousi has not had a CT scan for some time now. Next week on March 28th she will receive CT scans of her chest, abdomen & pelvic areas. On March 30th, my parents and sister will find out the results of those scans. We’re all praying the new chemo regimen is helping to fight this extremely aggressive disease. Ferdousi or I will provide an update to let you know the results next week. Please keep the prayers, messages, and good wishes coming.
On a happy note, we were all so glad that for one evening last week Ferdousi was feeling good and staying up to visit with family & friends. It was the evening of Nadia’s baby shower (our little sister) and we weren’t sure how Ferdousi would feel that day. She happened to be feeling well that evening (and also perhaps hiding her pain well). She was up for hours talking and visiting with family and friends. My parents were so happy to see this – their whole outlook each day is dependent on how Ferdousi is doing. Another fun thing we did was to arrange for a Henna Artist to come to the house and put henna on Ferdousi’s hands. It turned out just beautiful and Ferdousi was very happy about that.
Lastly, before we left Michigan I gave my sister a goal. She is to try to get herself as strong as possible so that we can do a cancer walk together on Memorial Day weekend. It would be such a great achievement for her and make us all so happy. That’s all for now. I hope that next time I post an update it will be positive news.
Good night,
~ Selina
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