Rina's Remembrance & Cancer Race for Research

Rina's Remembrance & Cancer Run/Walk will be held on Saturday, August 4, 2012, in Madison, WI. 


Race for Research (9:00 AM).  The University of Wisconsin is holding a 5K-run and 1- or 3-mile walk to benefit cancer research at the UW Carbone Cancer Center.  Please see their website for details about registration, time & location at http://connect.uwhealth.org/site/TR?fr_id=1120&pg=entry .  We will meet at the designated site at 8:30 AM (please see map via link for details).


Rina's Remembrance (2:30 PM).    The Remembrance will be held at the historic Gates of Heaven building in James Madison Park located at 302 E. Gorham Street, Madison, WI.  I've been told that parking in the immediate area is limited, so please plan ahead. 

If you are attending, please contact me by sending an email to 4selina.martin@gmail.com with the following information:


(1) Are you attending the Race for Research?
(2) Are you attending the Remembrance in the afternoon?(3) Do you have any special photographs to share at the Remembrance?
(4) Would you like to speak at the Remembrance?


Finally, I want to let you know that there is a specific fund set up in honor of Rina where donations can be made to the Carbone Cancer Center for cancer research.  Here is the link to that page http://connect.uwhealth.org/site/TR/Events/General?pg=fund&fr_id=1085&pxfid=1600. 


I hope to see you in August. 


Thanks,
Selina

Rina's Obituary

Ferdousi (Rina) Jamir Gramling

December 20, 1969 – April 4, 2012

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Ferdousi (Rina) Jamir Gramling, 42, died on April 4, 2012 less than 10 months after being diagnosed with cancer.  As with everything in her life, Rina applied all her courage and strength to fight this battle against cancer. She passed away at Beaumont Hospital in Troy, Michigan, surrounded by her mother, father, sister, and devoted loved ones. 

Rina was born on December 20, 1969 in Sylhet, Bangladesh, the daughter of Dr. Jamir Uddin and Mrs. Noorjahan Jamir. She grew up in Bangladesh until 1979 when she came to Platteville, Wisconsin at the age of 10.  Rina graduated from Platteville High School and later from the University of Wisconsin-Platteville with a B.S. in Chemistry.  She worked for several years in software engineering at AVISTA in Platteville.  Prior to her cancer diagnosis, she had been working for many years as a Software Project Manager for Duncan Solutions in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where she traveled around the country to lead project implementations for customers. 

She was married in Bermuda in 1995 and the pride and joy of her entire life was her son, David Rafique Gramling.  Everyone who has met Rina knows about her love for David as she talked about him with such admiration & joy.  Rina paved her own road in life and took many adventures along the way.  In a 1984 trip to Bangladesh with her family, she generously helped to distribute food (by boat) to the poor and displaced after a historic and devastating flood.  From this effort, she contracted a life-threatening typhoid fever and spent a month in the hospital in London.  Her many other journeys included running marathons around the world including China, Jamaica & around the United States.  Rina also spent 6 months volunteering to help with research in the Galapagos Islands & Quito, Ecuador and the following year took her son David to the World Cup in Germany.  She loved all things nature - hiking, camping, rock climbing, biking and running.  She loved these things most when David was with her.  Rina was a role model for her son, sisters, nephews, nieces, friends’ children and many younger cousins in the U.S. and around the world.  She was generous, kind, fearless, always saw the good in everyone she met and never judged anyone. 

Rina is survived by her beloved son, David Rafique Gramling, her parents Dr. Jamir Uddin & Mrs. Noorjahan Jamir, sisters Selina Martin & Nadia Jamir Khan, nephews Russell & Elliott Martin and many aunts, uncles, cousins and beloved friends around the world. She is also survived by her maternal grandfather, Yakub Ali, living in Bangladesh.

In the Muslim tradition, prayer and funeral services were held within 24 hours of her death.  It was a beautiful and sunny day and local family & friends gathered to pray for Rina and bid farewell to one of the most beautiful souls that we will ever know.  Rina is laid to rest at White Chapel Memorial Cemetery in Troy, Michigan. 

This summer we will have a Remembrance for Rina to celebrate her beautiful life.  It will be held in Michigan or Wisconsin on the same weekend as a Cancer Walk/Run.  Details of the event will be posted on Rina’s Blog at http://ferdousis.blogspot.com/.  

Ferdousi (Rina) Jamir Gramling

December 20, 1969 - April 4, 2012


Our loving mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, neice, grand-daughter and friend.  You are living in our hearts forever.

In the Muslim tradition, prayer and cemetery services are held within 24 hours of one's last breath.  It was a beautiful and sunny day and local family & friends gathered to pray for my sister and bid farewell to one of the most beautiful souls that I will ever know.  Rina is laid to rest at White Chapel Memorial Cemetery in Troy, Michigan.  There are so many dear friends and family (including our little sister Nadia) who could not be here.  This summer we will have a Remembrance for Rina to celebrate her amazing life.  Nadia & I would like to take time to plan this so that it will be held in Michigan or Wisconsin on the same weekend as a Cancer Walk/Run which we all can also take part in.  I think Rina would love this and I know she will be running right beside us. 

We will let you know the details for these events in the near future. 

Letting Go...

It's been said that at the end of life, sometimes a person hangs on longer than expected. It may be they don't want to go because they are waiting for someone or worried to leave someone behind. Last night my family spoke with Rina individually, starting with David, then Nadia on the phone from California, then me, Dad, and Mom. We told her that her son was in good hands and we would always care for him. We told her that she had been an amazing mother and taught him what he needed to be a good and happy person. We told Rina that we loved her beyond imagination and that she deserved the peace that is surely hers. We told her that she gave more to this world, her family and friends than could ever be expected of one person. We told her that she will live in all of us and that she should walk humbly but bravely into the peace.

Big Heart, Strong Heart

Last night the nurses commented, "It's very unusual for someone in this condition to last this long with such a high heart rate for five straight days.  She must have a very strong heart". 

My marathon runner sister doesn't just have a strong heart, she also has big heart. 

Until yesterday, the bulletin board in her hospital room stated this:

          Goal:  Comfort

Yesterday they changed it.  Here's what it says:



She's still fighting for her life today. May my sister find her peace.

Our senses

When we are in our mother's womb, our first sense that develops is our sense of hearing.  We hear our mother's and father's voices long before we are born and see the light of the world.  When we are nearing the end of our life, our sense of hearing is the last to go.  Rina's nurse Lucy said there are scientific studies that show this.  My sister can hear every word we say.  I am positive of this. 

Today I'm going to make sure that every family member and close friend that wants to have a few minutes to talk to Rina alone, can do so. 

Every day is a gift...

Rina made it through another night. Her blood pressure is dropping and her heart rate is still high. She has not woken up since Wednesday mid-day.  We all take turns talking to her and my aunts & uncles read verses from the Quran. I am a little envious of the feelings of comfort that faith seems to bring to everyone.  I'm having trouble finding comfort from faith right now. 

Yesterday they did not end up giving the blood transfusion because it would cause Rina more discomfort processing the transfusion.  My mom is now questioning so many things (if only they had done this or that....).  As a daughter, it frustrates me to hear her second-guessing everything.  As a mother I know exactly why she's doing it.

If you get a chance, read the "comment" that David posted to yesterday's blog update. He wrote a note to his mom that is so sweet and heart-breaking.  I read it to my sister this morning. I hope she heard her son's words of love.