Happy Holidays and Excited New Year!

From my hospital bed, I wish everyone the best of the holidays. As I lay in the comforts of the hospital smelling sheets, I reflect on what a roller coaster of a year it has been on me and others.

Little did I know that to downsizing I would lose a job of almost 5 years. Unfortunately, in these times there really isn't any job security that we have left to believe in. From loss of a job, to being diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer; Who would have thought that someone as young as myself with no history of cancer in the family, healthy person, and very little illness would be diagnosed.

This journey has certainly brought the kindness and connection of family, friends, and strangers toward me that I could never have imagined. Here I want to thank everyone who has reached out to me and provided me the comfort and generosity.

Being in the hospital has not been fun. It has taken away what little freedom I have left. I take each day as it comes. I pray that I can keep the little meals down. It's been difficult with the constant feeling of nausea. They keep me drugged up to prevent the nausea, but this isn't always successful.

The pain is another story. They are trying hard to maintain a balance with what is tolerable. This keeps me drugged up pretty much most of the day. I did make a little progress such that I am taking a third of this in a pill form while the rest is via IV.

The days are all mixed up. Sometimes I wake up thinking that it is night, only to find out that it's the middle of the day. The days and nights seem to intermingle one another. This throws me off balance and gets me disoriented.

Well, friends and family, I am exhausted just from writing this, so please forgive me as I sign off now.

Again my love and thanks to all who have kept in touch with me. I am ever more grateful.

Xoxo
Ferdousi